Glory In The House of Past Evil

I posted this poem on Orcalion's World instead of this blog, since I want it to appear in full in Facebook.

Anyway, this is the link to the poem 'Glory In The House of Past Evil'.

Enjoy!

Somewhere between Heart and Time (Karin & Reva 1)

Karin sits on her desk hugging her knees, next to her bedroom window. She is not exactly a boyish girl, but tonight, she feels like looking out her window, watching and listening to the sound of the rain outside, and the best way to do it is by sitting on her desk. She watches the rain as her mind flies back to the conversation she had with Reva earlier in campus..

She had overheard the girls asking Reva, why he hadn’t asked her out when it was clear that she had broken up with Galih and they were not getting back together. Reva answered confidently, “I don’t have to be her boyfriend just to be with her and be there for her.”

She wanted to know what he meant and she had always wondered what she meant to him, so she caught him after the last lecture and they sat together on the grass.

“I heard you talking to the girls earlier.”

“And..”

“I wonder what will happen once you have someone special..”

“What is it really that you want to say? You know I’m not good with hints.”

“I never thought about the possibility of you being with someone until today.. And I realise it actually scares me..”

“Why are you scared? You always said that you would be a good PR for me.” Reva said it jokingly, as Karin always told him every time she suggested him to ask a girl out.

Karin sighed and looked down to the grass, “You’re always there for me. Now I realise that I don’t want to lose it.. I don’t want to lose you.. What if that is how I feel?”

As always, Reva answered confidently, “We know each other since we were little, but we’re not kids anymore, Karin. I have dreams and expectations of my life and my future. When I choose someone to be with me, she will be my choice for the rest of my life. I won’t play around with someone else’s heart. Certainly not yours.”

Karin gasps at the memory, the exact same way she did when Reva looked straight to her as he was saying the words. Being subtle is not Reva’s greatest point, the good thing is Reva never lies.

Karin’s eyes returns to the heavily falling rain, the sound of the rain hitting the roof and the window makes an abstract but harmonious music to her. The sight of the rain outside her window resembles her feelings, everything moves fast around her to every direction, blurring her vision, giving her a feeling of being lost in a flooded dark cave.

She understands perfectly that Reva will not ask her out, at least not in the near future when he knows that she is not healed from her break up with Galih. But she was telling the truth to Reva, she did not want to lose him. The two years she was going out with Galih had opened her eyes and mind about many things, but unfortunately not everything.. Not yet.. And she needs to find out the rest, before it’s too late..

Karin’s thought goes back to the past. Galih’s and Reva’s parents are her parents’ good friends. All the play times, family picnics and weekend trips they had together had brought them closer to be best friends.

Galih has always been the polite type and he always finds subtle and kind words to say to her. When they started school, Galih became one of the most helpful students at school that everyone always invited him to be involved in many events and Galih was always happy to participate.

While Reva, with his sharp mouth, was generally avoided by the girls, except Karin who knew him well. The boys did not necessarily like him either, Reva was known to get detentions for fighting. When someone he crossed path with felt uncomfortable with his attitude and challenged him, giving in was never an option for him. Even though he finally learned to control himself and stopped fighting as he started high school, still, he mostly kept to himself when there was no urgent need for being social.

As they started high school, Karin started to understand that there would be time when they had to go their own ways, but she was always hoping that she never had to lose her best friends. That was why when Galih asked her out, she happily said yes to him.

In reality, Galih was always busy with his duties for school events and other students who also became his circle of friends. Karin was often left alone in background and Reva was the one who was always there for her.

After going out for 2 years, Karin started to feel that Galih was not the kind of guy she expected to be with her.

Karin sighs..

She remembers the last high school charity camp that she went with both Galih and Reva.

Galih was very busy with the other kids, especially Jessie, who was in charge of the layout of the event. After dinner, while Karin was sitting near the camp fire, she could feel movement next to her. She knew it wasn’t Galih because she was looking at him from quite a distance.

“You should sleep. It’s late, “ Reva spoke as he was taking off his jacket and handing it to Karin.

Karin took the jacket and put it on as she smiled to Reva who just sat himself next to her.

“I’m listening to those guys playing the guitar. They are good.”

Reva gave Karin some of the snacks he was holding and a glass of hot chocolate he brought from the kitchen tent, “Good thinking to serve late night snacks!”

Karin took the little plate and glass from Reva. She smiled at Reva’s compliment to her kitchen team’s idea, “Thanks.”

For some time they both sat facing the fire, listening to the songs. Karin did not expect Reva to talk because he only talked when he felt there was a need for it.

As Karin expected, Reva finally spoke when she finished her snack and picked up her hot chocolate.

“When you’ve finished that, you should sleep. The songs can be your lullabies. Don’t wait until they’re finished playing, it will be dead quiet!”

“Yes, you’re right. Breakfast needs to be served early tomorrow too.”

Reva nodded as Karin took the last sip of her hot chocolate, took off Reva’s jacket and handed it back to him. Then she walked to her tent and waved to Reva before she disappeared into it.

Tears are slowly falling down Karin’s cheeks. She wipes them with her hands, but her eyes are still focused on the rain outside her window..

Breaking up with Galih was the hardest thing Karin ever had to do. Galih was a kind person but somehow it was not good enough for her that he spent more time with other people than with her. She finally decided she had had enough, last week, when she had to stay until late in the library and there was no more bus by the time she left the library..

For the tenth time Karin pressed the red button on her mobile phone. Galih was still not answering his phone and the taxi company she called was still trying to find one for her. She is not only worried now, she is scared.. There were three guys getting off a bus on a far intersection and they were walking to her direction. She was hoping they would make a turn at some street or a taxi would come soon.

When Karin saw the guys walked past the third street on their left, she felt sure that they were walking to the bus stop she was at. She quickly pressed ‘recall’ and when Galih was still not answering, she quickly decided to call the person she knew would come for her, Reva.

“Karin?!”

She closed her eyes in relief hearing Reva’s voice.

“I stayed too long in the library and now there are no more busses. I’m at the campus bus stop. I can’t get Galih and there are three guys walking towards me from the intersection. What should I do?”

Karin could hear fast movements from the other end as Reva’s voice became slightly distant. Karin knew Reva must be talking while getting ready and had put her on ear set.

“Do you have enough credit on your phone?”

“Yes.”

“Stay where you are and don’t hang up! I’m on my way.”

Karin could hear Reva’s motorbike starting up and going fast on the road. She was silent for a long time, trying not to disturb Reva while he was riding. But as the three guys were getting very close to the bus stop, Karin was getting very scared.

“The guys are almost at the bus stop.”

“Hang on. I’m close.. I can see you.”

One of the guys walked straight to Karin, “Where’s your purse? Don’t do anything funny! The cops won’t get here until it’s too late anyway.”

Karin stood still, not being able to think clearly.

Then, the rest happened so fast. Reva’s bike stopped right between Karin and the guy who was approaching her. Reva took off his helmet and faced the guys with an angry look on his face.

“If I ever see any of you again..!”

Then Reva put his helmet back on and gave one to Karin. He pulled her to the backseat and quickly rode away. He didn’t stop until they reached Karin’s house.

Karin got off the bike and as she was facing Reva, she started crying. Reva pulled Karin’s head to his shoulder, “It’s over. You’re home. Safe.”

Karin pulled herself and stood in front of Reva while wiping her tears, “If you didn’t come for me, I don’t know what would happen.. Thank you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about staying late in the library? I could’ve stayed. And what’s up with Galih?”

“I didn’t plan to stay that long. I lost track of time and missed the last bus. I don’t know where Galih is, I kept calling him but he wasn’t answering.”

“Are your parents’ home?”

“No. They’re out of town on business for two nights.”

“Get inside now. It’s really late. I’ll wait until you’ve finished locking up.”

“Thank you again, Reva.”

“Give me a call if you need anything!”

The next day, after the last lecture, Karin finally found Galih and told him that she was breaking up with him. Galih was surprised but he accepted her decision because he knew he would never be able to be the person she wished him to be.

Karin’s tears are falling down heavier, as if they were trying to race the rain outside.

Karin knows in her heart that she doesn’t want to be with Galih, but she never knows what is in Reva’s heart, or who is.. She wants to be able to say to Reva that she wants to be with him, but she can’t even tell her own feelings because it is still hurting so bad.

Karin saw the way Galih looked at Jessie, she knows that it won’t be too long until they understand that there is something special between them, and she is almost ready for it, but if it happens to Reva.. Or when it happens to Reva, she should say.. Will she ever be ready for it?

Unable to hold her feelings, Karin finally lays her forehead on her knees and starts sobbing. All the noises, thoughts and feelings make her unaware of the calls and messages arriving on her mobile phone. The last one is still displayed on the screen..

“You’re not picking up my calls and messages, I hope you’re asleep. Don’t misunderstand what I said. I can never leave you and I never will. But I will stay with you only if that is what you want. So, take your time because it is what you need the most right now.”

-22 August 2009-

In The Drizzle (Revised - Aug 2009)

OPENING

It was a drizzly prom night at the sport centre..

The two people dancing together, close to the edge of the dance floor near the tables, were the most awkward couple at the scene.

Noone noticed them until the captain of the cheerleading squad did and poked the basketball team captain, who was sitting on her side, on his ribs.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m 98% sure that she can dance better than that! He’s got two left feet and she is suffering. She is a friend of yours, isn’t she?”

The whole basketball team and the cheerleading squad members quickly turned their heads to the direction of the awkward couple.

The captain of the basketball team smiled and turned to the girl sitting on his side, “She is. It would be a great final reportage on the school gazette if the Sportsman of the Year is dancing with the Student of the Year at prom, wouldn’t you think?”

The girl smiled back and winked at him, “I definitely would.”

He calmly walked to the band, gave quick instruction to the lead vocalist, then tapped on the guy on the dance floor to cut in.

“May I?”

The awkward guy nodded awkwardly, although somehow he also looked relieved to be able to leave the dance floor.

She also looked relieved at first, but then there was something else on her face as he took her hand. Her eyes were wide and her face was beaming.

“Am I really dancing with you?”

“Yes, we are dancing at prom.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“You’d better, because it is happening for real.”

As some of the crowd on the dance floor cleared away, school reporters started to notice the unusual couple who are smoothly moving on the dance floor and started to direct their cameras to them.

As the MC commented their unscheduled appearance, which was followed by a round applause, he pulled her close and whispered to her, “Should we give them the Dance of the Year?”

She swallowed hard, “Noone will talk about it again after tonight?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Alright then..”

HER STORY

It was a drizzly evening at the airport..

A girl with a straight long hair, neatly let down with a soft-coloured scarf tied around her head. She is wearing a plain-coloured skivvy and pants. Simple, but nice. That’s how she always dresses.

The girl’s eyes are fixed on the flight schedule board. She squeezed her hands when one of the lines on the board blinks, stating that the Garuda flight from UK that evening will be half-an-hour late.

Her face shows a nervous expression, as her minds slowly wanders off to the past..

It was one drizzly early morning on the way to school..

She was in the middle of 7^th grade. She was always nice to other people, although she was not the popular type. Her appearance always looked simple, even unnoticable, to some.

She was walking to school with an umbrella covering her from the rain. When she was walking passed the bus stop, that was when she saw him for the first time.

He was wearing the same uniform as she was. He was standing under the bus stop roof, trying not to get wet before arriving at school.

She didn’t know what moved her thought to walk up to him.

“Are you going to school? You can walk with me if you want.”

“Sure you don’t mind? You’re better covered by the umbrella if you’re by yourself.”

She smiled, “Ah, the school gate-keeper scares me more than this rain.”

“You’re right. Thank you so much. Some other students walked passed earlier, but I wasn’t sure about asking them.”

So, she was one of the best among the students majoring in science. She did her best in her studies and filling her spare time in the Science Club. Once a week, she joined the volleyball practice, although never really made it to the school A team.

And, he was a new student, transferring from out of town. With his almost-perfect shape and style, he instantly got admitted into the basketball A team and, following it, were the offers to hang out with the most popular people at school.

Throughout Junior High School, she never told anyone that she knew him because she wasn’t prepared for public reaction. She only talked to him when the chance appeared and nobody noticed.

The girl decides to leave the flight schedule board and walks to the nearest coffee shop, where she orders a cup of weak-long-white and a blueberry muffin. Then she sits down to have her coffee and muffin.

As she was waiting for her coffee to cool down a bit, her mind wanders off to another fraction of memory..

It was the drizzly Saturday afternoon at the zoo..

They were in the 11^th grade then. They chose the same Senior High School, although that didn’t really make any changes on their situation.

A couple of hours earlier, he called her.

“My basketball training finished earlier than scheduled. Let’s go somewhere if you’re not busy.”

“I’m not busy but.. where should we go? Where can we go without risking bumping into anyone from school?”

He thought for a moment. This was exactly why he had never asked her to go out before, besides the fact that he had only had his driving licence last week.

Then suddenly, he remembered something that she mentioned the day before, “Don’t you still have that Biology project to finish?”

She wasn’t sure of what he meant, “Animal Classifications?”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“I have to go to the zoo information centre, and probably also, the public library to find references for it.”

“That’s perfect isn’t it? Who would we bump into at the zoo?”

So, they went to the zoo. They walked around the zoo until midday and then they had a nice picnic lunch. After that, they sat in the information centre, gathering useful references for her project, until the zoo closing time.

The girl takes the last sip of her coffee, then calmly walks back to the flight schedule board. She smiles in relieve when one of the lines blinks again, stating that the Garuda flight from UK has just landed.

Her warm feeling suddenly goes cold as she recognises a very trendy girl walking fast into the airport waiting hall. The person she found out about his return from.

The trendy girl has wavy hair that was nicely done at a hairdressing salon. She wears the latest-style blouse with a matching feminine tight-fitting jeans. She was the captain of the cheerleading squad in their senior high school, who happened to be present at the school reunion last weekend and proudly told everyone that the captain of the basketball club was coming home after finishing his university studies in UK.

Following the trendy girl, were almost a dozen other people. His old friends from the basketball team and cheerleading squad.

Looking at this sight, the first girl feels uneasy and finally decides to leave before anyone notices her presence. She moves as calmly and casually as she usually does towards the exit door and continues walking to her car.

As she is walking, she remembers the school reunion she went to last weekend..

It was one drizzly Saturday, at the cafe where the students used to hang out..

She was happy to see some of her friends who were usually busy and very difficult to catch up with.

Her happiness did not last for long, though. It was cut by a sudden cheerful and confident voice from the former captain of the cheerleading squad.

“Guess what, guys??? The Best-Performing Captain is coming home from UK next Saturday!!”

Another girl quickly asked her, “Are you sure? Who told you?”

“Of course I’m sure! He told me himself! You know that he always tells me everything!”

She bit her lip to keep herself from crying. She reminded herself that she always wanted the best for him. Without drawing any unnecessary attention, she said goodbye to her friends and left the reunion.

The drizzle hides her tears. All these years, she still lacks the confidence to show people how she feels about him. She won’t know how to react or respond when someone says something that hurts her feelings. Just like that day..

That drizzly day at the Sport Centre..

They were at the end of 10^th grade. He was already a star in the basketball team, while she was a strong candidate for International Young Scientist Conference.

She was being circled by several students from their school, right next to his seat, where he put his sports bag.

One of the girls shouted at her, “You think just because you are among the smartest students you can try to get his attention? You can keep dreaming!”

Another girl followed, “Sneaking around, trying to get something from his bag to tell your friends that he gave it to you? If he doesn’t notice you, just back off! Don’t push your luck!”

One guy finally said, “Whatever you were trying to do, it didn’t work! So, leave now! Before I call security!”

She just looked at them, all of them, shouting inside that she was only doing their captain a favour, but her mouth was tightly shut and her tears were ready to fall, so she quickly ran out of the sport centre, back to her class.

A girl with more self-confidence and larger circle of friends can do better in showing her feelings and attentions to him, just like organising this welcoming party.

She runs to her car and drives home. This is probably why she hasn’t received any replies from him for the letter she sent last month..

HIS STORY

It was a drizzly evening at the airport..

He takes a deep breath when the pilot announces that the flight will take slightly longer than planned due to the bad weather and they have to make a circle before it was cleared for landing.

When he takes off his summer jacket, he feels the stiff envelope inside one of the pockets. A letter that arrived at his apartment, right before he went into the taxi to the airport. He was asleep most of the flight. Now, he quickly reached for the envelope in his pocket.

Reading the sender’s name, he takes another deep breath while opening the envelope. Then he starts reading with a full concentration.

Once he finishes reading the letter, he sighs. His mind goes back to a memory he never forgets..

It was one drizzly afternoon at the sports centre..

He saw her across the wide sport centre looking a little nervous. He couldn’t hear what his friends were shouting at her, but he saw their expressions that were less than friendly. He walked fast towards the crowd, doing his best ignoring all cheers and handshakes, but when he got there, she had already left.

One of the guys said to him, “Check your bag, see if anything is missing!”

Right then, in his sports bag, he saw the spare towel and change of clothes for after the match later that day. He had put those in her backpack in the morning, on the way to school, because his own sports bag was filled with the team’s new outfit. And it turned out that he forgot to get the towel and clothes from her before he left for the sports centre.

“Everything is fine. One thing though, she was here doing me a favour and she never disrespects anyone, so next time, please be kind to her. At least, do it for me.”

MC was calling his team to enter the field for the next match before anyone could reply to his statement and request. He left them feeling a little guilty out of their respect for him.

He never mentioned her further to public, although they spoke on the phone almost every night, only to share their ‘stories of the day’. To him, it was all his personal business, and nobody else’s.

He looks out of the plane window as the Captain announces that they are landing in a short time. This is his favourite view everytime he is on a plane, watching the ground looking larger and wider as the plane descends.

His mind quickly turns to another part of his memory..

It was the drizzly afternoon after school, in front of her house..

They were in 12^th grade and it was 2 weeks before Prom Night.

“It looks like I will be presenting the International Young Scientists Award to the Principal at prom.”

“With the President of the Science Club?”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m kind of supposed to do the opening dance.”

“With the Captain of the Cheerleading Squad, I assume. That makes sense.”

He nodded, “Something like that.”

She smiled and sighed.

As always, to them, school events even Prom Night, were only compulsory duties, especially for him. Their appearances were always as expected by the public.

It was always when they were outside school life felt bright and cheerful without any invisible lines separating them.

He asked to see her prom dress then, he came to see her, one day before the prom to give her a pretty corsage to match her dress.

At prom night, he stared at her as she walked passed him, towards the stage, to present the award.

She was wearing the dress that she showed him and the corsage that he gave her.

She was beautiful.

Later on, he caught her sight on the dance floor. She was dancing with the guy she presented the award with. He wished he was the one dancing with her..

The bump from the landing brings him back to reality. He gives a relieved sigh that the plane finally touches the ground and all the passengers slowly vacate their seats walking towards the plane’s exit door.

As he is walking along the airport halls, to the bagage belts, his mind wanders off again..

It was one drizzly Saturday late afternoon, at her place..

He left his house earlier, seeing the cloud was getting darker by the minute. So, he arrived at her place earlier too, before she even had the chance to get ready to go out that night.

While she was getting ready, he accidently spotted a little book laying on the 3-seater couch. A diary. She must’ve been writing in it when the door bell rang and didn’t have the chance to take it back into her bedroom.

He swallowed hard, realising that he was going to do something that he was not supposed to. However, he was really tempted. So, he held the diary in his hand and started reading the last entry.

“Diary.. He asked me to go and watch a movie tonight. Of course I’m very excited and happy.

But, Diary.. I don’t know why I’m still always reluctant to show up in public places with him? Officially, we are not in high school anymore. I have been accepted in the National University, and he is soon flying off to UK to do his university studies.

I don’t know whether it is because I am scared of how people might react when they see us together, or just because I always feel more comfortable when I’m just alone with him? .. I really don’t know..

We will be apart for five years now.. I hope our feelings won’t change when the five years are over. But, I can’t help thinking about the possibility that he may find a girl who is not afraid to face the world while standing by his side.

Do I worry too much, Diary?

But, I surely will support him in every way I can, even when we are far from each other. I always want him to be happy..”

Her writing stopped there.

He slowly closed the diary and put it back on the exact spot he found it. Then he moved to sit on one of the dining chairs, so she wouldn’t suspect anything when she found the diary again later that night..

He looks out the airport window as he is lining up for custom checking. He watches the drizzle and remembers the very last time he saw her.

It was the night of his departure to UK, and it was as drizzly as this evening..

He had said farewell to all his friends the night before at a little party he held at a popular cafe.

That night of his departure, only his parents and her, seeing him off at the airport. Not many words were said, as time was pressing and the busy and noisy surrounding was not at all helping.

She gave him her farewell present, a formal tie and socks, things that he, at first, didn’t consider would be needed during university life. The exact things he gladly wore, five years later, at his graduation day.

Her words on the cards kept playing in his mind, “Everything that happens in the future is for the best. And that’s what I always wish for you.. all the best in your life, in everything you do.”

He walks out of the custom area to the airport waiting hall. There were his friends, holding a big banner saying ‘Welcome Home’ while shouting cheerfully to greet him.

He greets them back one-by-one. Then, they took him to a little 24-hour cafe for a quick welcoming party.

THE HAPPY ENDING

It is now already nearly midnight.. and still drizzly..

She opens her eyes when she hears knocking on her bedroom door.

Her weary eyes stop at the corsage on the dressing table. She sighs at the memory then, reluctantly answers the door.

Her mother asks her to come downstairs for something urgent.

She agrees without thinking. Still half asleep, she walks down the stairs and she stands still once she recognises the person standing a few steps across from her.

He smiles and waves ‘hi’ to her.

She covers her face with both hands, as tears slowly falling from her eyes following the warm feelings suddenly flowing in her heart.

“You didn’t tell me that you were coming home tonight! I found out from your friends by accident. I went to the airport but there were so many of them there, waiting to welcome you home with a big banner ready to be opened. So, I went home.”

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. You went to the airport to see me?”

She nods.

Unexpected by her, his face turns slightly red, “Thank you. I didn’t tell you I was coming home tonight on purpose. Because I wanted to surprise you.”

“You didn’t reply my last letter..”

He sighs, “It arrived late. I received it right before I left for the airport.”

She looks at him as he is walking towards her, “Your friends were there for your arrival.”

He smiles, “We had a quick gathering in a cafe near the airport. I stayed a little bit then, I told them I was coming here to see you.”

“You told them you were coming here? What did they say?”

“I didn’t really wait for their replies.”

“But, your friends? They planned the gathering for you.”

He reaches both her hands and holds them tight in his, “They are my friends and they can miss me all they want but, the one I’ve been missing these last five years is.. You.. You wish me the best, and the best thing in my life is.. You..”

As the rain falls heavier, his voice sounds like a whisper, “We are who we are, and we’re happiest when we’re together. Noone can change that!”

She is now completely lost for words. More tears are falling down her cheeks, and this time the drizzle cannot hide them. It doesn’t matter, though.. because this time, she cries out of happiness..

CLOSING

At same time, at the cafe near the airport..

A guy approaches the trendy girl, “Hey, has he left? Where did he go?

“The love of his life, of course. Where else?”

“After all this time, they are still together?”

“Yes. Amazing isn’t it?”

“And they thought we didn’t know.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure you saw her earlier at the airport?”

“Yes, I’m very sure.”

“What if she was crying?”

“Well.. it would make his surprise more dramatic, wouldn’t it?”

“You’re cruel!”

“No, I’m not! I’m turning their invisible love story into a fairy tale..”

THE END

By: Indri Hutapea (05 March 2008)